I see you and if you were here I’d make you this banoffee pie

It’s a funny old world. Sometimes we are in the midst of thinking things and then, like an adorable meerkat, one of your friends stands up and says “I’m thinking this thing and I’m wondering if it’s just me and its making me feel a bit confused,” and you’re over here going, I hear you sister, sing it. 


But you’re actually not there. You’re on your phone and you see her post and you double tap and sometimes you comment. And sometimes you don’t comment. Other times you follow all the comments with enthusiasm and interest because most of the people commenting are cut from the same non-arsehole template as your mate. You might plan to go back and comment but you forget and then you feel shit, but you really want her to know that you see her and you hear her and you think she’s all that and more.

Sometimes you’ve never even met the person that has put their hand up. But you have each other’s numbers and text or email (and backs) and share things you don’t tell friends that you actually see face to face. Is this weird or not? I’m not sure. It’s part of my reality. I think it’s happening more.

Sometimes it’s a person you admire but have never met, but you feel connected to them because you’ve done a deep dive into their life and followed their blog for years and love their photos of roast potatoes and their garden, and you chuckle along with their parenting fails and feel not so alone when you are head down in the trenches of parenting yourself, all whilst trying to keep your career alive and struggling to triage your marriage because its sitting over there in the corner wilting away like your fiddle leaf fig. 

Catching up with friends in the flesh seems more difficult these days (is it though?). We’re all so busy doing the parenting-working-wifeing-everything (are we though?). It’s a bit sad really. There’s so many excuses and reasons not to meet up or cancel at the last minute (the latter really annoys me but seems to happen a lot don’t you think?). 

Since having my girls I’ve spent a lot of time feeling lonely and alone. But there are women out there on the socials that I have consistently turned to who brighten my day and with whom I feel a level of connection. Their words and photos are bolstering and honest, they inspire me to get on with the day and make me smile and lol and remind me to set goals. I notice when I don’t see them there and get concerned for them and wish I could pop over with cake and make sure they are ok. 

I have no answers or wisdom here but I was thinking that if I can see those who I consider to be “my type of people” online, then I can’t be the only one seeing them. There must be other people that see others and others that see them too and more than likely someone who sees you. Even someone that sees me? 

And perhaps you’re just need some pie? Or a cup of tea and a 2 minute sit in the sun or you could listen to Lizzo’s Good as Hell? If you need pie, then this banooffee goes down a treat and isn’t too tricky to knock up. I made it for my daughter’s birthday on the weekend and it was well received by folks young and old.

Do you have an online crew? Anyone I should know about? 


 Birthday banoffee pie

I made a double batch because I made mine in a loose bottom fluted quiche/pie tin that I bought from the oppy last year some time for $6. I think you would normally make this in a normal pie type tin, which are usually 20cm right? The recipe is pretty standard from Mary Berry to the Carnation milk website. Various ways of doing the caramel, I chose mine because it seemed less risky, although I was not totally happy with the colour and had hoped it would be a little darker.



  • 250g digestive type biscuits
  • 125g melted butter


  • 395g condensed milk
  • 50g butter
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • Bananas sliced (I did a quarter with sliced strawberries because I’m not a big fam of bananas)
  • 300ml cream, whipped with a touch of vanilla (optional) to spread on top


  1. Blitz digestives until they form a crumb in a food processor (or similar). Add melted butter and combine. 
  2. Press into pie tin and spread evenly around and up the sides. Give a real good firm press (or even out with the back of a spoon) and place in the fridge. 
  3. Put condensed milk, butter and brown sugar into a pan. Stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, heat until the caramel thickens to your liking. For me, this took about 20 minutes. 
  4. Pour caramel into the base. Don’t be tempted to lick caramel off wooden spoon at this point because it is scorching – trust me…
  5. Allow to cool before topping with sliced banana and cream. Enjoy!

I had my pie in the fridge overnight, if you do this the caramel will need a good couple of hours on the bench to come back to room temperature and not be toffee. 

1 Comment

  1. I was all ready to give my Insta account for lots of reason but I have to admit it gives me something real life doesn’t- instant validation. Why do I need validation? Don’t know. But that validation helps clarify my thoughts & sometimes makes me see things differently. That’s a good thing.
    I’m so glad I have you in my life xx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s