Do you get a certain feeling when you get to the end of a really busy time? When I get to that point, I feel like I need to sleep for a few days, and just watch tele, and eat therapeutic chicken soup.
The reality is though that you kind of have to carry on with the things and making lunches, and feeding babies, and broken sleep. There are pockets of quiet though, and I think there is great skill in being able to grab these times when they arise and optimise them. Not embark on a phone scroll or making-up irrational situations in your head – both of which I am prone to doing when tired.
This morning when the alarm sounded at 4.30am and I knew it was my day to exercise (husband and I take it in turns each day before the small occupants in our house wake up), I whispered across the bed, “I’m not going walking this morning.” Three minutes later, anticipating the negative self talk I would have at about 9.30am for not exercising, I dragged myself out of bed, got changed, got the dog and hit the pavement.
While I was walking in the dark and cool, I got to thinking about the last couple of months and knowing that I’m in some need of down time. Some time to focus back on the home front and recalibrate. Some time to rest and just know that it is free so we can do as little, or as much, of what we want to do for a few weeks.
I also decided I needed to write. To take stock and nut out all the things and have a look at what is going on in my head – and where I am investing time. So here it is, my February 2018 taking stock effort.
Making: lots of lists. Lists of things that need to be done, groceries that need to bought, activities that need to be planned for…
Cooking: so many things! We had dad’s 60th birthday on the weekend and I catered lunch for 35 people. It was a big effort but just lovely and the menu is deserved of a post on it’s own. I did make this Cauliflower and Cranberry salad from the recent Food Safari Earth series and it was a real hit. I also made Pip Lincoln’s favourite pancakes for breakfast yesterday morning. The recipe is in her Craft for the Soul book, and they really are very good for the soul.
Drinking: Coffee in the mornings. Earl grey tea at 3pm every afternoon. Water in between those and crisp, cool white wine on the weekend.
Reading: Every Parent by Matthew Sanders and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling.
Wanting: a good nights sleep. I really want one or perhaps even a few of these. That would be nice.
Looking: for ways to try tell my girls they are “beautiful” without gushing over them like a mad woman all the time. They are just so FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!
Playing: games of tea parties and babies and fairies and other very typical little girl things despite all efforts made to be gender neutral…
Deciding: on how to get the littlest lady of the house to get better at settling herself for a sleep with the least distress.
Wishing: that I had perhaps 5% of the answers to the questions in my head.
Enjoying: the cool change we have had the past few days.
Waiting: for the bebe to wake up.
Liking: that I fit back into my old jeans again because I like those jeans and it means I won’t have to buy new jeans this year.
Wondering: how it will all work when I go back to work in late April. Will it all work?
Loving: my husband and his gentle approach with me and ability to most of the time put my busy mind at ease.
Pondering: why people feel the need to pigeon hole themselves and their lives and then beat on about it and give others a hard time because they do things differently. Just do you “Susan” and do it well and that’s brill!
Considering: if I should be seeking a little extra help or support with the old anxiety because it’s been playing with me a bit and making me quite stressed. Maybe I should talk to a professional?
Watching: MKR – FFS… I said I wouldn’t and I’m not getting invested in it because it’s a stupidly big investment to watch a group of people, who largely seem to not really be in it because of a love of food or cooking. I feel dumb after I watch it. I really need to focus on the book more.
Hoping: I get to have a nap at lunchtime today with the bebe.
Marvelling: at the kids. I’m so freaking lucky. Also my sunflowers. We grew some from seeds and they are delightful – their big shining faces. Very satisfying.
Needing: some time with the husband. Just the two of us to have a meal or something. Like away from the house.
Smelling: Fresh cool air.
Wearing: Jeans the last few days because of the cool change and I love it.
Following: so many great and creative people on IG at the moment.
Noticing: that reconnecting with some online friends has really brought some joy back into my life. Some of us are even catching up in real life next week, which is a bit special.
Knowing: we will work it all out. Eventually. That is a very comforting thought indeed.
Thinking: that raising children and paying bills and being present and doing all the stuff is more demanding than you could ever try to explain to anyone. And people will only ever understand until they do it themselves.
Admiring: all the ladies doing it. The ladies who work, the ladies who twerk; the SAHMs and the gym ladies; the ladies with side hustles and the ones that bustle; the ladies who make their own booch and the ones who proudly slam beers. We are all pretty awesome and the sooner we all just accept we do things differently and get on with getting on the happier we all might be.
Sorting: through baby stuff and passing it on.
Buying: toilet paper today from here (it’s good and helps others) and ripe bananas and fresh ginger today.
Getting: ready to hit baby rhyme time at the library later this morning after the bebe wakes up.
Bookmarking: recipes – always. I’m on the hunt for a good Pho recipe if you know one please let me know. Also mild curries.
Disliking: I think I’m getting a cold sore. ugh.
Opening: my recipe books more and just books in general actually. I think they are full of so much joy and bring so much joy.
Giggling: at the kids – they bloody hilarious. Also at ‘Hughesy we have a problem.’ We watched it the other night and it was very funny. Perhaps a little inappropriate with some of the stuff but Julia Morris was on it and she is just so funny.
Feeling: much better as I work through this list and articulate things and remind myself of the good things. We are so prone to focus on the negative right?
Snacking: on raw cashews, and cheese and kimchi on crackers.
Coveting: I still don’t really know what this means. I looked it up and the interweb defined it as wanting something someone else has… Perhaps a bit more self-confidence. It’s taken some knocks recently.
Helping: where I can. I making pikelets with the kindy class next Tuesday. I love helping at kindy. We are so very lucky to have such a great C&K Kindy.
Hearing: The garbage truck do it rounds, cicadas in the shade out the back, and building noises, and some wee birds.
I highly recommend taking stock. I learnt this skill on the Blog With Pip course, which I also highly recommend. If you would like to have a go and see where it leads you, I’ve pasted the prompts below.
Happy Monday feels and fondness to you!